scary stuff

I think it would be fitting to share the scariest part of my journey towards living a creative life on Halloween evening.  You see, change can be scary for some people, but this is not about fear of change.  In my quest to find my purpose in life, I’ve made many career changes.  I can handle that.  The big scare for me happened this morning as I faced my fears from the past.

The scary tale begins with my decision to move forward with a coaching career.  I learned about something called Life Coaching about ten years ago and fell in love with the concept. I signed up for the courses and was amazed at how much I loved them and how natural coaching felt to me.  After finishing the classes, I started working on my new career by coaching a friend who was interested in making some changes in her life.  Then, the doubts began to creep in.  One self-limiting thought after another crept into my mind like a scary fog taking over the town in a horror movie.  Why would people want to pay me to help them achieve their life goals?  Why me, when there are so many other coaches out there who are so much better at it than I am?  I did the opposite of what most people do in scary movies, (Why do they always go toward the scary thing?) I ran for safety, put my dream away, and moved on to the next safe job.

As with most things that are meant to be, my dream of coaching has resurfaced.  That which we resist, persists.  So, more determined than ever to move forward, I consulted with a coach to help me with my process.  I had an introductory call with her last evening and I am excited to have support on board.  I went to bed all charged up about doing the work and then … I woke up this morning completely weighted down with fear.

It’s back!  As I lay in bed under the covers feeling completely overwhelmed, I heard a voice inside me say, “I don’t think I’m really interested in doing this anymore.”  I immediately recognized it as the same protective pattern that has stopped me over and over again in the past.  It was familiar and safe feeling.  It told me that all this was just another crazy idea from a manic moment in time and now the feeling has passed.  I can relax now, it’s over.  Sadly, part of me really believed those words to be true, after all, haven’t I proven them true over and over again in my life?

Now it’s time for me to prove to myself that those words are false and I am ready for the challenge.  As always, I welcome your thoughts and look forward to sharing my journey with you.

Yours in transformation,

Wordlywoman

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