creative comparisons

When I began my work as a Program Director on a dementia unit, I quickly learned that people, both co-workers and family members alike, saw me as the activity director of the unit.  I had recently worked long and hard to complete my degree in social work by going back to college at the age of 44 and I was upset that I wasn’t being recognized for that.  I made sure to add my credentials to my name tag as soon as my license arrived, in hopes of alleviating the misconception of my job title.

Now, before I go on any further, I need to say that I hold activity professionals in the highest esteem.  Their job is not an easy one, finding meaningful activity for health compromised people living in nursing homes and other group living environments.  I very much appreciate all the work they do.

*Forward ahead three years, and many, many “activity director” references later.*

For many reasons I will not get into here, I found myself frequently doing projects with the residents on my unit.  People would comment on how creative I was.  I began to acknowledge myself as a creative person.  When the opportunity came for me to be in charge of a fundraising event, I took to it with a creative mind.  I started feeling more confident in my creative abilities.  Was I a creative person after all?  My younger sister is an artist.  I wasn’t like her.  My daughter is an artist.  I wasn’t like her.  Even my mother I could see as a creative person, but not me.  The problem is not that I wasn’t creative, it was that I wasn’t seeing myself that way.  Comparisons for me have been the main confidence killer in my life.  As soon as I put myself up against anyone else, whether it be their looks or their abilities, I immediately fall short of the mark.

While working with my life coach this week, the topic of comparisons came up.  It is a subject that we will work on more over the next few weeks.  It is time to leave the comparisons behind so that I may confidently and creatively engage in my life.

Always yours in transformation,

Wordlywoman

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