layers

Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.

from Shrek (2001) Memorable Quotes

You may wonder why I am quoting lines from Shrek in this post.  Today, my sister and I had an email conversation about layers.  I was telling her that I am, once again, in a state of transformation, working through another layer of muck.  I haven’t done this type of inner work for many years now and it is just as intense as always.  I guess it is time to peel off another layer of muck.  It’s exciting and yucky at the same time.  I wonder about the potential that lies beneath the muck.  That’s the exciting part.  The tiredness I feel while discovering what’s underneath is the yuck.  (Don’t you like all the technical jargon, muck and yuck?)

For many years now, I have been working on increasing my level of self-awareness.  I have read many books; self help books, coaching books, spiritual books, daily affirmations, etc…, and just when I think I’ve got things figured out, something comes along to show me there’s more to be learned.  That is what is happening to me now.  The more I go towards what I want to be doing, the more I hear from my ego about why I can’t or shouldn’t be doing it.  I hear comparisons in which I can never measure up.  I feel fear in place of where I felt courage a few short weeks ago. This type of work is never easy.

Layers from an onion can make you cry and they stink.  That’s very similar to working through the layers of personal transformation and growth.  Sometimes you will cry and sometimes it just stinks to go through the pain of growth.  The trick for me is to breathe my way through the process while realizing that those words I hear from my ego are not real.  So let the peeling begin.  Going through these layers will bring me closer to my center, my true self, and that is worth some tears.

Yours in transformation,

Wordlywoman

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