I am…

In an attempt to update the About section of this blog, I found myself feeling stuck and felt I had little to say about who I am.  What can I say about myself?  This is a difficult section for me to write because I feel I still don’t really know who I am after all these years.  At times I seem to defy explanation.  I decided to start with “I am” statements to see if I could clarify things for myself.  Here is what I have so far:

I am a writer of words.  I am a thinker of thoughts.  I am aware of myself and my environment.  I am curious.  I am a listener.  I am interested in finding solutions.  I am introverted most days, but can be extroverted at times.  I am creative.  I am moody.  I have a great sense of humor (thanks, Mom).  I am loyal.  I am courageous.  I am able to maintain good boundaries.  I am a coach.  I am challenged with a short attention span, but am intensely focused when interested in something.  I am empathetic.  I am easily tired and have limited energy.  I am governed by self made rules regarding my use of time.  I am overly protective of myself.  I am prone to addiction.  I am able to love myself most of the time.  I am happier when dealing with things that make sense to me.  I am unique.  I am grateful for everything in my life.

When I re-read these “I am” statements I heard a description of myself, but didn’t feel any connection to the person about whom I was reading.  Who is this person?  Many years ago I read a headline to an obituary that said, “Mrs. Smith (not real name), Bookkeeper, Enjoyed quilting.”  My reaction upon reading those words was one of horror.  At the time I was earning my living as a bookkeeper and had just started quilting as a hobby.  I looked at the headline again and substituted my name.  The words fit, but it wasn’t who I am.  I am not a bookkeeper.  It is what I do to earn money.  I do enjoy quilting, but again, it is not who I am.  How do you answer the question of who you are?  What are the qualifiers for answering that question?  Is it your work, your hobbies, your accomplishments?  A Google search seemed in order here.  I quickly learned that I am not the first person to ask this question.  I like asking questions and exploring for answers because it always leads me to learn new things.  I am an explorer.

This first hit I found on Google is about a new documentary movie called “I Am”.  I watched the trailer and was hooked.  This is the kind of stuff I think about.  I wanted to know more so I navigated my way around the site.  I read about the film and the maker.  Everything that I read and watched is congruent with how I think and feel.  It was validating.  I then pre-ordered the DVD on Amazon.  The link is http://www.iamthedoc.com.  Check it out and let me know what you think.

The second site I visited took me to a template on how to write an “I Am” poem.  I like that you can actually fill in the template and create your own poem right on the spot.  The site is http://ettcweb.lr.k12.nj.us/forms/iampoem.htm.  Here is how mine came out.

I Am

I am creative and wise
I wonder what I will know in the end
I hear silence in nature
I see the waves rolling up on the beach
I want to be comfortable with love
I am creative and wise

I pretend that I am a writer
I feel deep down that I am
I touch the soft sand beneath my feet
I worry that I won’t ever get there
I cry when I feel others pain
I am creative and wise

I understand how everything is connected
I say how I feel with ease
I dream about feeling at peace
I try to be patient and compassionate
I hope to make a difference someday
I am creative and wise

The next thing I hit on was some “I Am” quotes.  I will leave you with a few of my favorites.

“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am my own heroine.” – Marie Bashkirtseff
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
“I am the miracle.” – Buddha
“I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.” – Albert Einstein
“Without knowing what I am and why I am here, life is impossible.” – Leo Tolstoy

How do you complete the sentence, “I am…”?

Yours in exploration,

Wordlywoman

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