where the rubber meets the road

My recent weight loss has sparked many comments from people I encounter each day.  One of the most common questions is, “How did you do it?”  After telling which weight loss program I used, I explain what motivated me to get started in the first place.  For me, it came in the form of a reality check.  It was that moment in time where clarity took center stage and allowed action to follow.  That’s where the rubber met the road for me.

As I listen to others tell me how they wish they could do certain things in their life, I wonder what motivates people to make changes.  Since I haven’t done any actual research on this matter, I’ll address it from where I know best, with myself.  Last night, while thinking about writing this article, I made a list of things that have inspired or motivated me to make changes in my life.  They are as follows:

  • Anger – “Being like this makes me so angry.  I’m not happy and things are going to change!”
  • Being inspired by someone else – “Wow.  I love what that person is doing.  If they can do it, so can I!”
  • Desperation – “I can’t live like this anymore.  It’s too uncomfortable to be like this.”
  • Fright – “OMG.  If I don’t make a change, something really bad is going to happen and I don’t like any of the possibilities.”
  • Reality check – “Julie, you’ve been saying that for years now.  When are you going to actually do it?”  *gulp*

Once inspired to make a change,however that comes about, everything falls into place and thought becomes action.  Life Coach, Debbie Ford say this best as, “The good news is that something magical happens when we own and embrace something we’ve avoided taking responsibility for in the past.”  The magical thing is that everything that seemed impossible is now very possible, even easy sometimes.  She also states, “The very good news is that we and we alone have the power to change our lives, and that can choose to do so at any moment.”   Making a decision to initiate action towards change is something that we can choose any time; it’s just that we don’t believe that we can do it.  This type of negative thinking is very common.  “I wish I could do that but I can’t because…..”  We make up reasons why it can’t happen for us, but in reality, we just need to admit that we are not ready to make that choice right now for whatever the reason.

What can you do to help yourself if you are not ready yet?  Well, first of all, admit it to yourself.  Don’t say you can’t do it; say you don’t want to do it right now.  Maybe you have other priorities in your life that are utilizing a lot of your energy.  Maybe you are doing some more inner work, that once done, will put you in a better place to succeed in attaining your goals.  Instead of beating yourself up, spend some time to reflect on where you are in the process.  Listen to your mental chatter.  Knowing where you are now is a good place to begin.  Be honest, kind, and forgiving.  Don’t beat yourself up and don’t compare yourself to someone who is ready when you are not.  We are not all in the same place at the same time.  Our life situations are not the same.  Now, picture what your life will look like when you are ready to make that change.  How will you be thinking?  What will you be feeling?  What is happening in your life then that is different now?  Set a date in the future to reevaluate where you are and decide if it is time to make the change.  Spiritual teacher and author, Iyanla Vanzant says, “You cannot get to where you are going until you have learned all there is to learn about where you are.”  What do you have left to learn?

Think about what it takes to get you ready to make a change?  What has motivated you in the past?  Are you able to be kind to yourself when you are not ready yet?   When you are ready to accept and fully believe in yourself, you will commit to making changes that are in alignment with your true and highest good, and you will feel grateful for all that you learned along the way.

Yours in transformation,

Wordlywoman

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