listening to the wind

I am listening to the wind this morning.  It comes in waves, rustling through the leaves, building to a crescendo and then slowly departs leaving only the crickets chirping.  Every once in a while, it will make its way through my room, brush across my skin, and enlighten my senses.  I crave this wind.  I cannot get enough of it.  It’s all that I want to hear.  I feel a sense of irritation when an occasional car drives by the house.  It disrupts my time with the wind.  I think about sitting somewhere quieter but I don’t want to break the spell that is right now.  Thankfully, there is less traffic on the weekend.  I welcome my friend to my home and we begin our moment in time together.

My relationship with the wind began a few years ago when I was on the beach.  It was late fall and the wind was strong.  There was a storm out at sea.  The wind forced the waves up over the rocks sending great geysers of ocean water into the air.  I felt as though my senses could not take in enough of the wind.  The sound, the smell, the taste, the feel, surrounded me, leaving me feeling intoxicated.  I wanted to breathe in more but could only take in so much at a time, as though there was a limit to how much my senses could absorb.   I had never experienced that before and my love affair with the wind was born.  It soothes and comforts me.  It brings a song to my soul and connects me with myself.  I am grateful for its wisdom.

My week was filled with stress and I am grateful for the day off.  Last night, I released a few tears while I sat on the couch after getting home from work.  The tears represented the pressure that built up inside me throughout the week.  I do not wish to carry any leftovers with me so it is important for me to sit and release the past.  It is over.  I am now in the moment and will stay there. It is a good place to be.  The wind carries away any lingering memories of the past.  I wish for more moments like this in my life, but don’t know where to start.  If I spend more time with the wind, I will know.  It teaches me to let go and listen.  I try harder to hear the answer but the more I try, the less I hear.  The wind’s message is fleeting today, just as it was that day on the beach.  I cannot hold on to it despite my attempts to try.  It continues to ebb and flow through me.  I can only have each moment.  It is a description of life.  I must take it as it comes.  That is the lesson.

I close my eyes and listen.  I see a black rectangle shape surrounded by a lighter color.  I always see different shapes and colors when I close my eyes.  This shape reminds me of a movie screen with no picture.  I concentrate on the screen and it remains black.  The wind has erased my thoughts.  There is nothing to see right now.  It is a relief.  One of my dogs is snoring loudly at my feet.  Suddenly, he sits up alert and begins a slow bark that hovers just beneath the surface.  He hears something in the wind.  The wind does not bring peace to him as it does to me.  The other dog now joins him to investigate a sound that I cannot hear.  The wind makes them restless.  In a moment they will lay back down and the wind and I will reconnect for a few moments alone until the next disruption occurs.  It seems impossible to have the wind all to myself.

I hear thoughts of the day’s tasks pushing into my consciousness; the black screen comes to life.  I know I must leave the wind soon.  I try to think of ways to put it all aside but reality pushes in.  I hope the wind will be here when I get home later today.  I want to feel like this again, but I know this moment is unique and cannot be recreated in the future.  I am thankful for this moment in time.  The crickets sing me back to reality.  I listen for one more wind song before I move into my day.  All is well.  Thank you, my friend.

Yours in the moment,

Wordlywoman

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