if not now…

future selfThis week I would like to present you with a poem I wrote.  It’s been a long time since I’ve written any poetry and it felt like coming home.   This poem is a true story about listening to my inner voice.  While the voice may always be there, I sometimes don’t pay attention to it.  I wrote this to remind myself that the voice is strong and true and that it is always there to guide me.

If Not Now…

I heard myself tell someone
A longtime dream of mine
I dreamt that when I got there
That life would be so fine
The words were so familiar
I’d heard them times before
And if I ever reached that dream
I could not ask for more

A voice it then responded
It sounded like a friend
It calmly asked the question
“If not now, then when?”

The question then transported me
To a future time in life
I saw myself as aged
It cut me like a knife
An older woman looked at me
With regret in her eyes
She sat me down and questioned
“Please just tell me why?”

“You knew you had it in you
You had places to go
The dreams were there, the fire inside
Why was it not so?”
I looked at her with sadness
I knew I’d let her down
I turned away and hung my head
I couldn’t watch her frown

I couldn’t bear to face the truth
Of how I’d never tried
I let excuses carry me
I told myself a lie
The woman then she said to me
“Please don’t let it be”
I knew she was my future
I knew that she was me

I feel myself resisting
All that I can do
What is it inside of me
That just won’t follow through?
I look inside to answer
To see the question new
To realize that I have gifts
Of things I’m meant to do

I want to shine as brightly
As I am meant to be
I’ll quest to find my purpose
I’ll find a way to see
I choose now not to let her down
The future lies ahead
I will accomplish all my dreams
My soul it will be fed

A voice it then responded
It sounded like a friend
It calmly spoke the answer
There’s only now, not then

by J.E. Taft

If you don’t have the whole picture of what you want to do, take some small steps.  You’ll know what the steps are if you stop and listen to your inner voice.  Pay attention to the things you hear yourself say over and over.  You’re saying them for a reason.  Take one small step in the direction you want to go.  Dreams are not always clear from the beginning and may take time to uncover.  Each time you do something new, and take a step, you will receive more information, like unfolding a road map to show you what’s next on the journey.

Do you have a dream and hear yourself making excuses about why it isn’t happening for you?  Listen to yourself and ask, “If not now, then when?”  How will you feel when you meet your future self?  Will you be proud of your accomplishments or full of regret from not realizing them?  Remember, there’s no time like the present.

Yours in transformation,

Wordlywoman

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